Pulling the trigger
by monkeylove123
Summary: Lilly steals the RV. The memories of what happen at St.John farm haunt her sanity. She makes a stop along the way to do something someone should of done for a hard working friend...maybe more? SPOILER! Lark (MarkXLilly)


**Hello Walking dead fans and welcome to my first Walking dead one shot, please enjoy. I do not own the Walking dead everything is told in Lilly's Point of view.**

I felt the steering wheel in my firm grip. My palms sweaty from the all the recent events that had happen. I felt a headache coming on, lifting my left hand from the steering wheel I rub the temples on my head, well my right hand kept firmly on the wheel. The tress and their leaves of red, yellow and orange zipped past me as I tried my hardest to keep calm, I felt anger building up in me as well as fear. Fear it was the one thing I never showed. Sadness maybe but fear never, I had to stay strong...for my Dad, for Clementine for my group who I betrayed. Everything went by so fast tonight.

The fight, the gun in my hands, pulling the trigger and Carley's death, I never meant for that to happen, I swear it was like I lost all control of my body and will. All I heard was Carley voice and the gun fire...It was like I had turned into a monster, a monster that was slay by a handsome knight and soon saved the pretty princess like in the bedtime stories my father told me when I was younger he would call me his "Little princess" Only tonight I was the monster. I flinched, the gruesome scene of the murder I had done.

"I just wanted everyone to be safe..." I whispered to myself. Even hearing my own voice sent shivers up my spine. I am the monster and the murderer and I'm scared of both.

How could everyone still trust Lee? He was a REAL murderer who killed on purpose ...but he was decent enough not to let me die out on the road. I still have no respect for him.

The RV hit a pothole making the RV shake a little bit. That woke me out of the state of fear and sadness I was in. "Gotta keep calm..." I said out loud to myself and notice the road looking more familiar. "Do I even know where the fuck I'm going?" I asked as slowed the RV down. "Motel not an option, drug store's a bust and 's farm..."

I froze and hit the brakes. The horror of that farm gave me goosebumps, My father death who Kenny and Lee assist in...I could had save him but they didn't give me the chance...Lee could had at least help me! Instead he killed him!

I felt a tear roll down my face. He never understood..no one understands...he was a good guy...no a great guy! Didn't they see how hard he worked on the fence at the motel? Or how he looked out for me or the fact he still keeps my mother wedding ring? No! They never understood, and never will. That farm was hell on earth for me.

Al the lives lost in that farm and not just my former group, all the children who's parents had died being ate by those fucking sick cannibals. I let out a small sob, they made us eat Mark. My eyes widen, oh Mark I forgot all about him. He was a amazing guy, he got us three months of food...as well as one of the few...no wait the only guy at work who wasn't a jackass. Why Mark? He was such a hard worker. The way he helped my father work on the fence even though he was so weak from hunger, the way he worked so hard every day, a true had worker. He never should of died, nor become a walker.

My mind went blank for a few short seconds. I now knew what I was going to do first, I step on the peddle and quickly drove the RV down the lonely road.

I don't know how I was feeling now. It was like fear but I wouldn't say I was scared but I felt a sort of anxiety running through my veins, I just wanted to do this as fast as I can.

I pulled into the horrible farm of the . God just being here made me feel like fainting. I took a deep breath. "No turning back now...I have to do this..." I said trying to give myself a pep talk. I wandered to on farm. Walkers were gone so that wouldn't be a problem for now at least...I need to get this over with fast. I quickly remembered over hearing Lee and Kenny they had seven other guns around here...but where though?

I sighed and walked into the dreaded barn. I remembered being locked in that meat locker, it was a nightmare...a Nightmare which one can never wake up or forget. I gulped and picked up a hunting rifle which was laying peacefully in a pile of hay. I checked the ammo in that thing. "Four bullets...more than enough." I said and looked around. Mark couldn't had gotten far, he was a legless walker so he couldn't had gotten far, even though it's been ages since what happen at this evil farm, but a walker without legs is almost not even a walker at all.

My ears picked up on a odd chomping noise. A walker eating flesh no doubt.

I looked around the empty barn, There was only one place a legless walker could get a meal. I slowly took my first step to the meat locker. 'Damn it! Why?' I though and took another step. So far so good, but my heart was stinking as I step again. "Just keep going Lilly." I said giving myself another small pep talk. "You have to do this...I can do this..." I said and took a deep breath and finally entered the meat locker. I stared down at my father dead body.

"oh god!" I screamed. Feasting on his dead body was a legless walker, in a rusty brown jacket with black hair and glasses...Mark. I knew this was what I was going to see but it's just s shocking.

"Mark...Dad..." I sobbed as the zombie Mark looked up at me. His once beautiful blue eyes were now snow white with hunger. He let out a moan and dragged himself across the cold blood stained floor. I sighed and backed away slowly. "Mark, you were a true hard worker..." I said. I don't even know what I'm saying it's like that monster again but this time it feels right...maybe this is what they mean by speaking from the heart.

"Every single day you gave it your all not matter how you felt...sick, weak, happy, sad...your were a great guy." I said backing away as Mark seem to had gotten tried and turned back around to fest on my father.

"I know things were stressful for you and they are for me as well...but you did your best..." I said and felt the tears rolling down my face onto the ground.

"You know...you're a great guy, I only wished I noticed it before...before all this happen. You were the only guy at work who wasn't a complete asshole. I tried looking out for our group Mark but I failed. I failed Carley, I failed my dad, I failed Clementine I failed you..." I choked barely above a whisper.

"You know...when I told Lee I tried to imaged having a family like Kenny...I always thought of you with me...god that sounds cheesy." I said chuckling a bit but turned back to tears.

"But it's true...I'm sure Dad would had warmed up to you too..." I said as I watched the walker, I could barely believe it's Mark.

"Mark,...I...I really liked you...a lot...I can't let you live like this anymore...it will be over soon...I promise your be so much more happier." I said and aim my gun and put my finger on the trigger.

"Tell Dad I said hi."

_**And that's the end. What did you think? It was tricky having to write Lilly like this also I want to clear something. I'm not a die hard fan of Lilly but I don't hate her. I dunno...Traitors are pretty cool in games, comics, movies ect. Like Neyla from Sly. So anyway read and review and do you want more TWD fanfictions from me let me know.**_


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